Lucky Peach presents Power Vegetables!

Also known as "the missing blog post." Long ago, Blogging for Books graciously acquiesced to sending me a free copy of Power Vegetables! in exchange for a fair and honest review. I purposely chose this book because it's a cookbook. "How hard could it be to review this?" I thought to myself. Difficult enough, apparently, since it's been about a year since I received it. I know. Shame on me.

Shaaaaaaaaame.... Shamed enough?
Probably not, but I need to get this show on the road.

Power Vegetables! In addition to thinking this would be an easy review, I also seriously thought I could use more vegetable recipes. I had this insane idea that reducing the amount of meat I eat in a week would be good for me and the planet. Salads get tiresome, after all. And again, "How hard could it be?" Clearly I underestimated my love of meat.

I thought you were just kidding when you said "no meat."
No land-beasties were harmed in the cooking of these recipes, or at least none of their meat was used. However, as author Peter Meehan wrote in his introduction, "Fish and dairy are okay with us." So if you are interested in a vegan, meatless diet: this book is not for you. Anyway, let's start with the easy stuff, shall we?

This hardcover book is well-bound, and dynamically illustrated. Power Vegetables are photographed as though they were super heroes about to save your diet. The recipes provide a range of cultural flavors: Mexican, Indian, and Japanese to name a few. Peter Meehan and the editors of Lucky Peach also included a small section in which they detail what supplies they keep stocked in their own kitchen to whip up tasty, meat-free meals at a moment. The writing is also entertaining, so even if you never make a recipe from it (as yours truly has not), at least you'll still get enjoyment from reading it. Overall, I think Power Vegetables! is worth your time. Give it a shot! And for goodness sake, eat your damn vegetables.

The Master Guide to Drawing Anime: Mostly Adorable

The Master Guide to Drawing Anime is more than just a pretty picture book. It is a good introduction for the beginner artist on how to draw in the manga/anime art style!

I'm always surprised when I read "how to draw" books and find useful tips in them to improve my drawing skills. You may find this silly, but I rarely read these books. I tend to use only half of the reference— the visual half— to add details to my own work. But the written half is incredibly useful as well. It tells you what you might not have picked up from the pictures alone: how and why the image works.

Christopher Hart delivered a good guide. In this book, Hart demonstrates "how to draw original characters from simple templates." The text accompanying the images is concise, but pertinent. He points out how small changes can make a big impact on your image. And all throughout, these changes will have a bearing on the character you create. That was probably my favorite part. Redrawing a character to look the same through a series of poses, actions, and outfits is difficult, so I'll take any help I can get with that. This focus on creating characters and keeping their looks consistent through multiple images makes this guide a wonderful reference for fledgling comic book artists. However, I wouldn't refer to this as a "master" guide. The book is split into six parts: schoolgirls, schoolboys, preteens, charming villains, humor in anime, and fantasy characters. Of these six, the bulk of the content is in drawing schoolgirls.

I guess drawing girls is more fun than drawing boys?
Maybe? I have a lot of fun drawing girls and women in a manga style, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to include boys and men in my drawings. I just found it odd how many more examples were available on how you could radically change a character type/personality (with a quick-change of hair, clothes, or expression) for girls than there were for the boys. And the schoolgirl section was the best illustrated and most informative section of the book also, with the preteens chapter being a close second. Perhaps Christopher Hart just loves drawing schoolgirls and preteens more than anything.

Are you saying—?!
Nothing pervy, you perv! All I'm saying is that those sections of the book received the most amount of love.

When you say love...
I'm saying detailed descriptions, variations, and full-color images for certain chapters and not others. If you do anything creative, there are certain things that you prefer to do over others. Given the attention to detail on these, I would say that "charming villains" are not on Hart's list of favorite things to draw. There were only two types: both male, based on the same body type, and they weren't even done in color. They were boring. The fantasy section of the book was a little longer and contained color images, but little variation. Furthermore, those drawings were all female and they all had essentially the same facial expression.

Overall, I feel as though Hart's enthusiasm and passion extended to only the first half of the book— a little like my enthusiasm for this review. The second half was "serviceable," at best. With the exception of the villains section, I enjoyed the artwork, and the tips on keeping character consistency. Depending on where you're at in your drawing skills, you might find this useful. But it isn't a "master" guide, or anything close to a definitive one.

One last thing to note before I go: After puzzling (loudly and repeatedly to my husband) over why the style of the art varied as much as it did from one section to the next, he pointed something out to me. This was not all drawn by the same artist. There were multiple contributing artists, and I don't think Christopher Hart was even one of them, though he did write the book.
So there you have it! My opinion hasn't changed much, but my jokes make less sense now.

Thanks a lot, Christopher Hart.

Magnificent Mosaics: Stained Glass Coloring Book

I'm going to stop pretending that eventually I'll stop reviewing coloring books. A while back, I think it was reasonable to assume that I could stop reviewing coloring books because I generally don't buy them! This, however, was a special circumstance!— it was on sale, and I'd never seen a stained glass coloring book before!

So what's so cool about it?
This book is all intricate mosaic patterns on transparent coloring paper that allows light to filter through it, mimicking stained glass. There are fifteen images included in Magnificent Mosaics: Stained Glass Coloring Book, and the pages are perforated so that you can stick your finished artwork on your windows and enjoy the pretty colors!

If you are as hopelessly addicted to coloring books as I am, you've likely noticed that most adult coloring books have faith that you will:

1. Finish coloring an entire image or five before you die.
2. Color it well enough to want to frame it.
3. Frame it.

I don't know about you guys, but for all the coloring books I now own— more than one, but fewer than all of them— I've yet to completely finish coloring even a single image. Furthermore, even if I did finish an image, I don't know that I would like my work well enough to consider framing it. So while I appreciate that books have that level of confidence in me, framing will probably never happen. Meanwhile, Magnificent Mosaics: Stained Glass Coloring Book says: "Stick this in your window! Enjoy the light show!" And I can completely get behind that! So I think I have a better chance at actually finishing some of these images, since all they require of me when I'm done is a window and some tape.

Find me on Amazon!

If there is one thing that I am not entirely pleased with in regards to this book, it is that there are only fifteen images. For a $7.99 coloring book, I would have liked to get more images. Of course, if this were a normal coloring book and not a stained glass coloring book, I probably would have. So keep that in mind: what you lose in images to color, you gain in a different kind of paper and a different coloring experience. If you're not a fan of stained glass, but you like mosaics, I encourage you to try Magnificent Mosaics instead! This older coloring book is less expensive than its newer, stained glass version and contains 30 images for you to zen out with. The stained glass coloring book actually consists of excerpts from this older Magnificent Mosaics, but on that transparent paper. Or get both of them! Either way, I recommend them: I liked the artwork, the transparent paper is fun, and if you never finish an image you will still have fun trying.

Celtic Spirit Coloring Book

You have to ask yourself just one question before you decide to get this book. Do you like intricate, Celtic knotwork? Well, do you? I know I don't! (Or at least, I don't care about it.) But I knew that going in, and I'm certainly not holding it against Celtic Spirit Coloring Book that knotwork just isn't my thing. That being said, if it's your thing, then congratulations: I found you a cool coloring book!

Maybe, like me, knotwork isn't really your thing either. That's okay. There are still some neat things for you in Celtic Spirit. There are 78 intricate images in this book, including some that are two-page spreads. Each image is a labyrinth for your colored pencils to get lost in. At times, I've found the images overwhelming! I have a tendency to try shading every little thing in the images I color. Almost nothing gets a flat color in my coloring books. But with this, I find it difficult to imagine coloring it any other way. How could I possibly keep up with my color scheme unless I pick my way from one end of the knot through its many loops, swirls, and tucks until I've completed it through to the other side? Again: not really my thing— but I can see how that could appeal to some people. If you're willing to get lost in that maze, I can see how this might be meditative for you. My favorite images have a nice balance between tiny, tight knots and the bigger, looser knots. These happen to include some excellent animal imagery, including dragons. (I know, what a shock: I like dragons! GASP!)

Finally, let me tell you about the paper itself: looks standard. The pages are thick enough that I think they may hold up to markers, but not to too many passes. Unfortunately, I can't test it, since this is a gift for someone. I'd stick to my colored pencils for it if this were my copy. The introduction also suggests that if you're particularly pleased with your work, you can frame and display it— or even gift it to someone! Of course, you could do this with any of the pages you color in any coloring books, but other books make it easy to do. This one does not. The pages are double-sided, and they are not perforated. Get ready for some book surgery if you decide to excise any of the images.

Overall, I would say Celtic Spirit is a decent coloring book, and you have better than even odds of liking it. Enjoy!

Ghosts from Our Past A.K.A The Ghostbusters Movie Tie-In

There's just one question you gotta ask yourself before you read this book... Are you a HUGE Ghostbusters nerd? Seriously. Do you live, eat, and breathe for the new Ghostbusters movie? Because I get a sneaking suspicion that having merely "liked" the new movie will not be enough to get you through this.
As you may have already surmised, I am not a HUGE Ghostbusters nerd. I am a fan of the original movies, but was unable to see the new one. But then I saw that Blogging for Books had this available, and since I couldn't convince my significant other to go see the movie with me, I figured I would read this instead. Blogging for Books graciously acquiesced to sending me a free copy (in exchange for a fair and honest review, of course), and here we are now— about 3 or 4 months after I received it.

Okay, here's the thing: This is not a bad book. I've certainly read much worse. But I've also read much better. I guess that, once again, this falls under the category of books that just weren't meant for me. Since I did not see the movie, I'm not sure if this book actually shows up in it. However, the basic premise of Ghosts from Our Past is that ghostbusters Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates (the characters in the movie) wrote it together while they were undergraduates in college. The book is split into three basic parts: Ghostbuster backstories (or how Erin and Abby got into spooks), their research, and their methods. I made it as far as the methods section before I gave up. Honestly, I think the biggest issue I had with this book was its length. It isn't nearly as bloated as Les Miserables, but I would've been happier with fewer pages in their research and methods section. But I'll explain that further soon.

Let's move on to the fun stuff in Ghosts of Our Past. A lot of the humor in this book works because it's meta. This is written as though Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates are real people who legitimately believe in and hunt ghosts. They are "real," and their research is "real," and they passionately try to explain it to you. As a reader, I wasn't just reading a fictional book based on a movie. I was handling an artifact from another dimension, and my guides to that dimension were a couple of passionate, kooky, spook hunters who love the X-files and have no clue how to write a scientific report. The very first page made me laugh with the included praise from diverse sources like New York City's mayor ("An imaginative work of fiction, written by two women I have most definitely never met. Are you recording this? Turn that off."), and an Amazon review that simply read, "5 stars. Arrived on time. Good condition." If you read this book, don't skip the captions. They are funny.

And now that I've had a little bit of time to explain to you what's good about the book, let me go back to what isn't: the pacing. I know earlier I said it was the length, but this isn't that long of a book. The pacing is what's really off. It starts out pretty funny, keeps that momentum through the back stories, and starts losing steam around the middle. That's why it took me so long to get to the third portion. It really slowed down toward the middle, and I just never felt it pick up that pace again toward the end. Then I gave up. Chances are that I will eventually finish reading this book. My bookmark is still where I left it. Overall, I'd say this is good bathroom reading material, but that's about as good as it will ever get.

Johanna's Christmas: A Festive Coloring Book

You didn't think I was done with coloring books for the year, did you? Before the year is out— and while it is still somewhat relevant— I wanted to share Johanna Basford's newest coloring book with you: Johanna's Christmas. Unlike A Christmas Carol coloring book, this one is definitely more my speed. The focus in this one is more on festive imagery: wreaths, ornaments, candy canes and gingerbread houses, deer, wrapped gifts, and tons of other stuff. There are beautiful trees to color, wreaths made of ornaments and tiny deer, and even a sleigh full of presents!

If you've read my reviews on other Johanna Basford coloring books, you are probably not surprised that I'm a fan of this. The artwork is still fantastically fun to color. If you've liked any of her other books and you like Christmas, you will like this book. A couple of other things to keep in mind about Johanna's Christmas are: the pages are single-sided— sort of. Behind every major image there is a grayed-out wallpaper image. Could you color? Absolutely. Would I count it as an actual image? No. These include wallpapers of ornaments, vines of holly, and presents. That's about it. The pages themselves are also pretty thick, and so I would consider this a perfect opportunity to go crazy with your markers. And if you're one of those people who agonizes over what colors you'll use with a given image, fear not! There is even a blank page in back specifically designated as your "color palette test page."

Overall, if you got this in your stocking this year: Congratulations! If not, go order it. It's worth it!

A Christmas Carol (The Coloring Book)

Oh damn! Christmas is over, and now I show up with something holiday themed? I just can't seem to get my act together this year... Sorry guys!

Actually... HA!— joke's on you, because I'm Puerto Rican! And to us, Christmas lasts through the first week of January and then some! So prepare yourselves for: Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol: A Coloring Classic.

First things first: I realize I've reviewed many coloring books this past year. With so many available and being marketed to adults, my childhood passion for hoarding these was rekindled. As a kid, I had tons of coloring books, but I rarely colored. Instead, I copied the pages and used them as references. I was terrified of messing up the artwork. As an adult, I have so many hobbies that I rarely have time to actually color the artwork. Let's face it, there are plenty of other things that need to get done— like the laundry. Sometimes, I consider coloring and end up drawing and painting instead. But I still love these books, so my hoard continues to grow.

Most recently, I acquired A Christmas Carol: A Coloring Classic from a friend who is not a fan of it and wanted to re-gift it. I feel a little bad for this book because it seems to me that it would have a pretty small, potential fan-base. Really, who thought this was a good idea? In order to enjoy this book to the fullest, I imagine you have to be a fan of Dickens' A Christmas Carol, coloring books, and coloring in people. I have a preference for coloring animals, patterns, and anime characters, so this doesn't totally suit my tastes.

However, the illustrations are done well and detailed. The pages are double-sided, but fairly thick. You can probably get away with using markers, assuming you don't color over the same spot repeatedly. I think colored pencils would be a better option, though, to be safe. Surprisingly, what this book contains the most of are pictures of people— generally in the form of scenes from the story with accompanying quotes— and images of food. Prepare to be hungry after coloring this in. Also, while it does contain some abstract-ish images (food floating in space, for example), there are no repetitious "wallpaper" pattern images. Overall, I think it's a good variety of images to keep your interest. Assuming, of course, that you're interested in coloring A Christmas Carol.

I think what might draw people to this book initially is the beautiful cover: a profusion of flowers, holly, bells, and candles on a red foil background— and Scrooge on the top left corner. Honestly, the cover has caught my attention on more than one occasion in stores. But then I see A Christmas Carol and move on with nary more than a "meh" towards it. Ultimately, not my kind of coloring book. But if you're really into A Christmas Carol, coloring, and great artwork, you'll definitely enjoy this book!

Guitar Zero: The Science of Becoming Musical at Any Age

I don't know if I mentioned recently that I started teaching myself to play guitar and ukulele. I am hardly musical and have never played a stringed instrument before. However, that didn't stop me from borrowing my dad-in-law's guitar, picking up a few books on the subject, and pretending like I could be a guitar hero. That's actually where this book came in. Since I was at the library anyway, I browsed through everything with the word "guitar" in it, and this sounded like something that might help a complete novice get started.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. The book isn't written to help the complete novice learn how to play the guitar. It's actually partly anecdotal pep-talk by author Gary Marcus— on how after years of sucking at all things musical he finally learned how to play guitar— and partly about the neuroscience that allows any of us to be musical at all. Since I am a fan of neuroscience, I was not completely disappointed by the lack of instruction in this book. It runs long for a pep-talk, and the gist of the brain science is this: There is no music-specific region of the brain, and practice makes perfect. That's pretty much it. I'd love to give more explicit details, but unfortunately it's been several months since I read it and I've already returned the book to the library. ... Oops. On the bright side, I can't really spoil it for you!

So this may seem pretty obvious, but you may be interested in this book if you are passionate about music and brains. I know a couple of people like that, and I'm sure that more exist. Personally, I just wanted an instructional book.

Pics or It Didn't Happen

So I blinked out of existence for a while there, I know. One day, I was saying, "Ha, that's funny. I'm a little late for Halloween..." Next thing you know, over a month goes by and you passingly think to yourself, "I wonder if this girl's dead..." Or maybe you didn't care that much. I won't put words in your mouth.

For now.

Since I've had nothing else for you for weeks, let me just show you what I've been up to!

To your left, you will see progress shots of a t-shirt I sacrificed to make yarn. I had a stack of about 10 shirts that I ultimately knit/upcycled into a small rug. Let me just tell you right now: Trying to knit denim is a pain in the ass. But the rug came out okay! While the process I used to make the yarn used up a great big chunk of the shirt, there is still a good amount of fabric left over. My next project with those scraps is to make a shag rug. We'll see how that goes with the material I have left!

 I recently moved and had to find a new job. Go figure, I found a job at my local crack store— I mean, craft store. So I've been getting paid in yarn and other art supplies...
Okay, so I've been getting paid money and then just spending it on art supplies. Stop judging me. Anyway! This was some of the yarn that I purchased. I used Red Heart Unforgettable yarn in the color "parrot" and one of the patterns from my Crocodile Stitch book for this beauty. It was a fun pattern, though I guess I mostly like it for being something different to make. And of course, I love the colors of this yarn. If you ever decide to make anything with this particular yarn, please be aware that it is difficult to take it out of whatever you crocheted. It snags like crazy if you try taking it apart.

Progress shots of snowman Totoro in 16X20

 In addition to all this crochet, I've been trying to get myself excited about the winter festivities, so I've been obsessively drawing and coloring snowman Totoro. My hope is that if I get good enough at it, people will like it enough to perhaps buy a print or button of it at SacAnime. That is, of course, if I can get a table this winter. We're on the waitlist right now for one, but apparently it's still a possibility! So these are a few of the things (along with a some commissions) that have kept me busy and away from the blog this past month and a half. I hope to return us to our irregularly scheduled programming soon. Hope you're all doing well!

I got roped into making a wreath at work, then
wasn't allowed to keep it. So I had to make
another one for home.

Oh, and did I mention my foray into learning a musical instrument? Me and my happy lil' ukulele!

Bram Stoker's Dracula (THE MOVIE!)

I thought this blog was about books!

HA! Joke's on you guys! I write 'bout what I want! Also when I want, since this was supposed to be my Halloween post, but I only started writing it 10 minutes before midnight on Halloween. I think I win the procrastination award tonight. Anyway! Dracula... I think we're all pretty familiar with the premise of the story. There's a guy with fangs who refuses to die and he goes around biting people, sucking their blood. Somehow, losing a great deal of blood turns them into nymphomaniacs— because apparently anemia is nature's most effective aphrodisiac. Sound about right? ... No? But that's what this movie is leading up to!

Didn't this movie come out in the 90s? How is the nymphomaniac thing surprising?

Artemis cleverly conceals herself on my gray sweater.

The nymphomaniac thing is not surprising. I'll give you that one. But it has been years since I've seen this movie. Furthermore, I don't think I ever gave it the attention that it was due! I have a tendency to keep the TV on as background noise, or only listen to it while I crochet— as though movies and shows were actually radio dramas. I don't watch TV. Today, however, something remarkable happened. Today I looked up, and actually watched the shenanigans. Artemis helped this process along by settling herself on my lap and making crochet impossible, of course. It was then that I realized just what I had been missing, by only listening to the poorly delivered dialogue (whether spoken in Neo's monotone or Hannibal's insane outbursts). The visuals are stunning— often stunningly good, though sometimes stunningly bad. However, it's nothing so captivating that I would've sat and watched in fascination (twice). Nope. The thing that really caught me was Anthony Hopkins' bizarre performance of Hannibal Lecter Abraham Van Helsing.

Van Helsing was nothing like Hannibal!

You're right, of course, but I had just "watched" Silence of the Lambs as well, and it was fresh in my mind. Still, his performance was fascinatingly weird! I guess it'd have to be, given some of his lines:
"She is a bitch of the devil! Yeehee!— a whore of darkness![...] She is the devil's concubine!" All of this, gleefully delivered, and followed shortly by, "I'm famished! Feed me!" Whatever the hell that old coot had to drink prior to shooting that scene, I want two.

My favorite part, however, happened shortly after Lucy's death. During the wake, Van Helsing approaches Jack, the doctor who initially summoned him to examine Lucy. Van Helsing requests that Jack meet him at Lucy's grave before sunset with a set of "post-mortem knives." Assuming that the old psycho wishes to autopsy his beloved Lucy, Jack responds with: "An autopsy! On poor Lucy?"

Van Helsing: "Not exactly. I just want to cut off her head and rip out her heart."

At which point even Artemis, who had until that point been dozing on my lap, suddenly looked up in astonishment. Her eyes wide, she stared at me in bewilderment; her gaze clearly stating: "Mommy, what the fuck are we watching?!"

What the fuck indeed. There are many other ridiculous things I could share with you about this movie, if you haven't already experienced it for yourself. The silly effects, the ill-disguised "blood orgasms," or the inexplicable Harker-Mina-Dracula triangle are easy targets to share. Honestly, I really just wanted to tell you about my cat's reaction. 

If you read this before you go to bed: Happy Halloween 2016!

...If, however, you read this after you wake up...

Don't contradict Batman. Bad things will happen.

The Food Lovers Make it Paleo Cookbook

You see? I'm not the only one who thinks so!

Is there any word in the English language more frightening than "Diet?" Especially at this time of the year, when one of our greatest pleasures as Americans is to dress up in costumes all month long and stuff our faces full of delicious sugar? Perhaps. But "diet" remains one of my least favorite words, capable of causing haunting nightmares.

Privileged much?
Yes, but that's not what this post is about. It's about a cookbook that doesn't even make mention of the word "diet," which is one of the reasons I like it so much.

That was an unexpected turnaround!
Yes, thank you. Before we move on to the actual book review, you should know something about me: I don't really cook. I know a few recipes by heart— they're simple, straightforward, and will feed me for the better part of a week with only thirty to forty minutes of effort on my part. I like these recipes because I am a lazy cook. I've also already practiced eating Paleo(ish) before. It is also fairly straightforward, but even a lazy cook gets tired of eating the exact same thing on a daily basis.

The Food Lovers Make it Paleo cookbook contains "over 200 grain-free recipes for any occasion." Not all of them are made with the lazy cook in mind, but I'm happy to report that not one of the recipes made me think I needed to be an accomplished chef to make them. The recipes are formatted so that— at a glance— you can see: the ingredients you need, the process to make them, difficulty, estimated prep and cook time, and how many people it serves.

As with many cookbooks, the recipes are separated into different meals (breakfasts, appetizers, entrées), as well as side dishes, sauces, and treats. This makes figuring out what you want to eat the following day especially simple. Feel like changing up your breakfast routine? Go to the breakfast section! Is your favorite thing in the world chicken but you want to change up the side dishes for dinner? Go to the side dishes section! What if you tried one of the recipes, and maybe you weren't a fan of most of it, but hot DAMN! That sauce that you had on it was the best thing ever and you could drink it by the gallon? The sauces are in a separate section. You can find most things quickly in this book.

What if nothing in my kitchen is set up for eating like a caveman?
That's okay! If you think you'll be making many of these recipes, it may be a good idea to rethink what you stock in your cabinets. None of the ingredients needed are necessarily difficult to find, and there is a chapter devoted to "the Paleo Kitchen." Therein you will find what authors Staley and Mason recommend as key ingredients to keep handy in your kitchen, tools to make your life easier, and "basic cooking tips" (for people like me who know only the most basic anatomy of the stove).

But how will I know what's good to eat? Isn't that what REALLY matters?!
Generally we're not supposed to eat with our eyes, but since I cannot know what a recipe tastes like until I make it, I go by the pictures. Make it Paleo is beautifully illustrated, and everything looks delicious. And if you're not sure what to pair together for an amazing meal, well they've got you covered there also with some suggested menus for special occasions!

You might like this book if:

1. You're already a fan of the paleo lifestyle and you want additional recipes
2. You're looking to improve your health by cutting out some common processed ingredients.
3. You like food.

Sorry guys, I really can't think of a reason you might not like this book. Unless you're completely vegetarian or vegan, in which case half of it might not apply to you.

Halloween Freebies!

I'm currently working at a Halloween City. I could've started blogging about Halloween in August.

Hey guys! I just wanted to point you towards some books I found free on Amazon. No particular reason other than "people like free stuff, right?" Some of these books I have read before, and others I'm going to try out this month. Care to read with me?

I mentioned How to be Dead to you last year on Halloween, then I went on to read it. You know what? It was hilarious, and I loved it. The first book is still free on Amazon, and the second book— Paper Cuts— is well worth the $2.99. They're short, horror comedies and you really can't go wrong with them. I'll probably review these two sooner rather than later. The only thing that bugs me is that there is a third book in the works, and it isn't finished yet. So I'm bummed about that, but these two are still so worth your time.

Did you know that a metric butt-ton of classics are available for free on Amazon, if you're getting them on Kindle? I mention it because I forget all the time. Since Kindle is my digital platform of choice, I started loading it up with all kinds of stuff for the season, including: Frankenstein, Dracula, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and War of the Worlds. If you've read them before: good for you! I read Frankenstein in high school, and Dracula during college. Though they both started slow, they got much better. I was even able to get over having to read in the dreaded first person perspective during Dracula. Before the month is done, I hope to get around to The Picture of Dorian Gray, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I'm one of those people that likes getting around to the classics. It gives me more meme material.

I hope this will keep you all satisfied for a couple of days at least. Enjoy! And if you have a minute, leave me a comment with what your reading list looks like for this month. I like getting recommendations too, you know!

Art of Coloring Disney Villains

How do you like your Disney villains? Do you like them devious? Cunning? How about hipster-y, self-centered, and covered in patterns? Then have I got a treat for you!

I see you found a Disney coloring book more suited to your tastes.
Yes, though I only had a chance to flip through it. Art of Coloring Disney Villains is a little thank-you gift I bought for one of my friends. It's weird at times, but thankfully still entertaining. Unlike in the Disney Princess coloring book, the characters in Disney Villains are allowed to express a wide range of emotions while reenacting scenes from their movies or otherwise posing with new, "updated" material. Probably one of the funniest examples of this are the several images of Gaston from Beauty & the Beast as he takes an endless stream of selfies on a smart phone. Yeah. Wrap your head around that one. You'll see it makes complete sense— if he had a smart phone. One of the repeating "wallpaper" images is multiple villain faces wearing hipster glasses. Weird? Yes. Entertaining? YES.

The book is split into several different sections: animal kingdom, strictly human, and witches/creatures. As an unexpected bonus, most of the villains in the book also have a small, card-size portrait with information regarding: their movie, when it was released, and who voiced them. As with Art of Coloring Disney Princesses, this book is also that strange kind of hard cover (where it's a soft cover book with cardboard on the front and back). I still don't get it, but since the images were so much more fun for the villains, I really didn't mind so much. My favorite thing about this book, though, is that each of the villains has at least one image that include the movie's heroes as well. In each of these, the villain looks (appropriately) menacing— or looms over— the heroes/heroines; especially Izma from Emperor's New Groove. So what if they drew her with a piece of spinach stuck in her teeth? She's still a badass!

If you're interested in purely classic villains doing only what they do in their movies, I recommend you move along now. As previously mentioned, they took some liberties with these characters. However, since they are still "in character" for the most part, I forgave the artists and would be happy to have this book for my very own. I recommend you get one for yourself as well!

Inkheart: A Reminder Not to Judge Books by their Cover

As you may recall from another post, I unintentionally read three different versions of Taken recently. Inkheart by Cornelia Funke was the second one I read, but the first "reverse Taken" that I'd ever encountered.

Oh, so the dad gets kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery in this too? I thought this was a young adult book!
I think this is actually a children's book, and yes the dad gets kidnapped in the beginning. Luckily, neither he or his daughter are sexually molested. The father's kidnapping at the beginning of the book and the daughter's desire to run off and find him are actually the furthest Inkheart makes it into the Taken plotline. In reality, the plot is equal parts "be careful what you wish for," "don't judge a book by its cover," and missed opportunities. I felt the "don't judge a book by its cover" part most keenly since based on the cover and description on the back, I was expecting a more exciting, magical adventure with our little girl protagonist. Based on the description, our 12-year-old heroine— Meggie— is thrust into a book-like adventure where only she "can rewrite the story" and ultimately give it a happy ending. Based on the cover, I expected that adventure to include at least one minotaur, one unicorn, and a troop of flying monkeys. There were no minotaurs, unicorns, or flying monkeys. There was barely even any adventure. Instead, we had a series of kidnappings: first the dad, then the girl, then they escape, then Meggie gets kidnapped again, etc.

That sounds frustrating.
It really was! The sad part is that Cornelia Funke set up some legitimately good hooks at the beginning of the story, which were then resolved in a lackluster sort of way. For the first 300 or so pages, I was convinced that the story would get better! "Wait until I get to the part where they reveal this, and that, and the other thing!"

The way things start out is that 12-year-old bibliophile Meggie wakes up in the middle of the night to see that there is a strange man standing outside of her home. In a fit of panic, she rushes to inform her equally bibliophilic father so that he might send the stranger away. Her father is actually acquainted with the man: Dustfinger the fire-eater, who has searched for them in order to warn them that someone is on their trail. Meggie's father, Mo, possesses a certain book that our story's villain desires, and they must keep it from him at all costs... Thus, our beginning hooks: What could Capricorn, our villain, want from our book-binding papa (Mo)? What's so special about this book he wants? Why is Dustfinger warning them? Is he ally, or foe?

Who the hell names their kid "Capricorn," or "Dustfinger?"
Authors, of course. You see, Dustfinger and Capricorn do not belong in Meggie's world. They are actually characters from a book titled Inkheart, written by some guy in Italy (inside of Cornelia Funke's Inkheart).

It's just a book... No harm ever came from reading a book.

Meggie's father possesses a strange power: whenever he reads a book out loud, something ends up popping out of the book. Sometimes, it may be a bird, or a gold coin. However, for everything that comes out of the book, something else must go into it (presumably to maintain some sort of balance). In the instance of Inkheart, various characters— including Dustfinger, Capricorn, and several of Capricorn's henchmen— make it into Meggie's world, and her mother disappeared into the world of the book. Now, nine years after their appearance in Meggie's world, Capricorn has gathered and destroyed all copies of the story he came from. He needs only the one Mo owns to bring forward more of his evil cronies...

You wrote a book in a book that was better than the book you wrote...

Oooh... Book-ception!
It really did take approximately half of the book to get that all set up, and by then there had already been a kidnapping or two in progress. After that, it all went downhill. Unfortunately, the characters just weren't compelling. For example, as a reader I was told that Dustfinger was really an affable character in his book! However, in the actual book that I was reading, he was pathetic. He was desperately unhappy to be out of his story and wanted nothing more than to return home. Dustfinger gives Mo and Meggie up to Capricorn thinking that somehow— despite all of Mo's previous attempts to read him back— being under Capricorn's scrutiny will force Mo to control his power and send Dustfinger home! Meanwhile, Capricorn was repeatedly described as being a terrifying villain in his own book, with dead eyes devoid of pity. To encounter him in the book I read was to read about a man who wanted gold, and weapons to frighten people with. Color me unimpressed with his goals to be the douchiest douche-nozzle that ever douched. Capricorn is the sort of character one would call the police about, because they can handle him. He didn't have any particularly special powers, so I don't understand why the cops in the book were such pushovers that they didn't just go out and do their jobs.

Their families were being threatened?
Boo-fucking-hoo. You know what would help? Arresting the bad guys! The worst part, though, is that Inkheart spent a lot of time telling me how great Inkheart was. If the story these awful characters came from was so great, how come I'm not reading that instead?! Overall, the writing wasn't bad, though things did get tedious toward the end. I could have done without the repeated kidnappings, for example. Mo and Meggie's curse/ability to read characters out of their stories was an intriguing concept that got me to start the book, but only sheer determination on my part could make me finish it. Funke missed so many opportunities to make this a better story. I think she got lost in the cleverness of having a great book tucked away in a mediocre one.

Hello, Bicycle: A love letter on two wheels

Mango and I went to the e-cycle place in town to get rid of an old scanner,
then treated ourselves with a trip to the library!

My husband spoils me: for my birthday he bought me a shiny new bike. Though I originally intended to get a folding bike (for easy storing and getting around town), the folks at our local bike shop pointed out this beauty and I fell in love with it. I call her "Mango," and I take her out for rides as often as possible. Though Mango and I are probably in the honeymoon phase of our relationship, it is clear that Anna Brones and her bike are not. She obviously has a deep, abiding love for her two-wheeled conveyance. Hello Bicycle is clearly her love letter to bicycles with added useful information to their riders.

You are a woman of strange passions...
I am a woman of varied passions, that's all. And bicycling is now one of them! I requested Hello Bicycle from Blogging for Books— in exchange for an honest and fair review, of course— because it promised a "practical guide to the bike life with real-world advice" which I hoped included how to fix a flat tire. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect beyond that, and I was happy that I got it! I suspect Anna Brones is a woman of varied passions as well, since she includes more than just bike history, maintenance, and various reasons you should dust off your bike and get pedaling. Were you wondering what you could do with a bicycle beyond going for a joy ride? Ultimately we ride because we want to and it's enjoyable, but had you considered other possible biking adventures like camping, touring, or just commuting? And how will you remain fueled? Brones includes snack recipes to keep you pedaling, gear that might make your life easier if you want your two-wheeled steed to be as utilitarian as possible (or you want to go touring), and even up-cycle projects you can do when you inevitably get a flat tire (or two) and can no longer patch the tubes in your tires. All of that and more in a short book that you could read in an afternoon!

Overall, I would classify this book as a good, beginner "bike info sampler." You can tell with every sentence that Brones loves her cycling. She gives compelling reasons to add cycling to our everyday lives, as well as points out how easy it would be. If you haven't been on a bike since you were a kid, but you want to get back into it: this would be a good book for you. You'll get help figuring out what you need in a bike and additional resources to check out. If you're looking for something with more technical jargon, move along.

Art of Coloring Disney Princess: 100 Images to Lull You into a Catatonic State

This book was not made for me. When I see the title Art of Coloring Disney Princesses, certain expectations and standards come to mind. I expect a certain amount of froufrou nonsense and hoity-toityness featuring a pack of damsels in distress. Then I remind myself that "Disney Princess" refers to more than the classic damsels like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. My hopes rise, knowing that bad-asses like Mulan and Merida might be present. Let's not forget that Jasmine, Tiana, Rapunzel, and Belle are also intelligent, quirky, and brave. So I bought this Disney Princess coloring book with the expectation of seeing a variety of "princesses" doing and being more than decorative damsels in distress. Further, I expected the artwork would meet the high Disney Standards: interesting, dynamic, and beautiful. What I got amounts to little more than a Barbie-like coloring book with some characters standing or sitting around, looking pretty, with vacuous smiles plastered on their faces.

How do you know they're vacuous?
Because their eyes are glazed and unfocused, and they're staring at nothing in particular! The whole book is generic, discount, knock-off Disney at best! I find it insulting— to me as much as to these princesses— that they should take some genuinely interesting characters and have them only stand or sit, and smile at the camera. These ladies have better things to do! Tiana has work to do. Mulan has villains to outwit! For fucks' sake, Belle has a giant library to read, and Aurora could be taking a nap, and these artists interrupt their busy ass schedule to have them stand against a backdrop and smile?! Or they got a Disney Princess stunt double to sit/stand against a backdrop with infrequent wig and wardrobe changes.

You got a problem with looking pretty and having a rich husband?
Not at all! If you're pretty, have a rich husband, and that makes you happy? Good on you! I simply find it dull. My high school yearbooks were more interesting than that! Which leads me to my biggest problem with this book: It is mundane, uninspired, and mediocre. You're more likely to be lulled into a catatonic state while coloring these pages than be creatively inspired. But prepare yourself. There's a kicker. ... Are you prepared?

You're the Diet Coke of Disney. Just one calorie: not Disney enough.

I think so...
Of the approximately 120 pages to color, 98 are dedicated to generic, repeating wallpapers. I know. I counted. For the purposes of this math, I want you to understand that if the image was a mandala with a princess silhouette or a repeating pattern, I counted it as "wallpaper." Therefore, not really a princess. Just patterns. There were only 23 images of princesses (with vapid smile facial details), and even some of those pages were more patterns than princess.

Overall, I found this book terribly disappointing and misleading. It is monotonous at best, and I don't recommend it at all. In addition to all the problems with content, the book itself is odd in that it is a hardcover coloring book—

That's kinda cool!
—but the covers are actually just cardboard pieces stuck on the outside of a soft-cover book. It makes little sense, and it looks weird. It doesn't really bother me. I'm just annoyed at the book in general. But that does bring me back to my first point: This book wasn't made for me. I gave it to my friend, and he loved it. Know your audience, I guess. I bet my audience loves narwhals.

The Cruelty: Red-headed stepchild of the YA genre

I will find you... And I will read you. On 2/17/17

People who read my blog, take note: I am a bibliophile. You probably gathered as much from the fact that I have a book review blog that I post in on a mostly regular basis. Still, I wanted to preface the following review with that statement, so you would understand just how I came to possess a copy of Scott Bergstrom's The Cruelty. I love books, and if a print copy of something should be offered to me for free, well... How could I say "no"? It had everything to do with wanting a new book, and nothing with the fact that it's "young adult" fiction or that the plot is essentially reverse-Taken.

It's "reverse Taken"...?

Yes: a loved one is kidnapped by terrorists/mobsters/criminals that are involved with human trafficking and our heroic protagonist must save them. It just so happens that this time, the daughter has to go save her kidnapped father instead of the other way around. Dad's been damseled, but everything else is very similar.

Our heroine, Gwendolyn Bloom, is the seventeen-year-old daughter of a kidnapped diplomat, and she has tough choices ahead of her. Terrorists rarely pick the best time to kidnap one's family, and for Gwendolyn they chose the day after the tenth anniversary of her mother's murder. With one parent already brutally slain, Gwendolyn won't let the other go. The choices she faces begin benignly enough: will she go meekly to live with a distant relative she doesn't know and accept that the authorities are doing everything in their power to rescue her father— the only family she's ever really known? Or will she wrest control of the situation and do everything she can to get him back? I don't think we'd get much of a book if she'd done the former— "well-behaved women seldom make history" (L.T. Ulrich) and all that jazz. From that point forward, Bergstrom sets the narrative on cruise control in the "action packed novel" lane, complete with training sessions (where Gwendolyn emerges as a teenage badass capable of defending herself against anything after a month of intense training), breaking and entering, murder, even picking up on a cold trail in a missing person's case through Europe (which is where her dad disappeared).

That sounds intense!

It's predictable, yet satisfying. Except for a slow start— potentially a case of "first novel syndrome"— the writing was interesting and well-paced. I only wish that I'd actually been in the mood to read it, and that it weren't in the first person point of view because I find that irritating— both of which are personal problems and not the book's fault. It also didn't help that this was the third version of the Taken-plot I've read in the past month. (That was purely accidental, by the way.) But if you don't share my personal problems and you're a fan of action-packed, young adult thrillers drizzled with murder, you'll probably like this book.

There were a few things that pulled me out of the action. They mainly had to do with the aforementioned "first person perspective." That and I find it hard to believe any normal, "soft" 17-year-old could do this kind of stuff: leave the comforts of home only to get her ass handed to her repeatedly until she learns to destroy everything in her path. Still, it made for a good story.

Wait, how is this the red-headed stepchild of the YA genre?

Ah, that... Apparently the author made some disparaging remarks regarding young adult fiction, its writers, and audience in general. Or at least, he made remarks and they were taken very personally by the audience. If you google his name and the name of the book, it's practically the first thing that pops up. I mention this because I think the negative reaction is exaggerated— especially when people are rating the book like crap even if they haven't even read it purely because Bergstrom made some ignorant remarks.

I did receive a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

A is for Adventure: Part Coloring Book, Monster Manual, Campaign Guide. ALL Fun

The other day, I went on a little shopping spree for my friends. I am not allowing myself to spend much on myself lately, but I wanted to get a few little thank you gifts for my D&D group so... I bought coloring books. Of the three that I bought, my absolute favorite is A is for Adventure, by Scott Aleric. I want this book for myself and I want it now.

So the artwork is good?

Yes, but that's not all. This book is fantastic! I appreciate Aleric's style and the attention to detail. All the monsters are displayed in dynamic poses— typically in the process of mauling some foolish adventurer. The illustrations are worked in ink with full backgrounds and— Okay, you may find this a little bit strange, but...

I've read your other reviews. How could this be any stranger?

—what really does it for me is the hatch and cross-hatch shading. I love the texture it creates on the page. It's something that I just don't see all that much anymore, especially as more artists do digital art. And I haven't even told you about my absolute favorite part!

There's more?!

Yes! Included with each letter/monster is a mini campaign scenario featuring the monster, a small map, and even some plot twists to kick things up a notch. What I particularly love about these adventures is that they act almost as adventure-Legos: you could play with them on their own, put them together, or drop it in to your bigger campaign set. Tweak the scenarios to taste! Overall, I highly recommend this book! You'll like it too if you're into: 

1. Coloring! The pages are thin, but single-sided. No worries about markers bleeding through to the next page.
2. Role-playing! Mini campaigns need little customization if you're a lazy dungeon master or you just want to sample playing with friends.
3. Monster art! Most of the illustrations look like the monsters are winning. That's typically a plus in my book!

Have fun!

What Alice Forgot (Spoilers: It was a lot)

Alice forgot an entire decade: the birth and lives of her three children, divorce proceedings, and the existence of her best friend. Meanwhile, I was beating myself up because I forgot when, exactly, I picked up this book; I'm fairly certain it was within the last two weeks. I read it over the course of two days, and I daresay they were two days well spent.

The story begins with Alice dreaming of cream cheese. Why not? Dreams are typically pretty weird. Alice Love is 29 years old, completely enamored with her husband, and pregnant with their first child. Or at least, so she believes when she wakes up from the cream cheese dream. But the reality is that Alice is 39 years old. She is on the floor of the gym wearing clothes she would swear are not hers. And what is she doing at the gym anyway? She hates exercising!

Oh no...
Oh Yes: It's an amnesia book.

Gasp of Horror!
As luck would have it, it isn't as cheesy as a soap opera; we can all rest a little easier. The story actually reads a bit like a detective novel: a heart-squishing kind of detective novel. Even my little black heart was momentarily touched as Alice tries to find the truth: if she and her husband were so happy, how could they be getting a divorce now? Did ten years turn her into an unlovable bitch where the most important people are concerned? Did he cheat on her? Why is her sister, who was always her best friend, so distant now? What did a decade do? As previously mentioned: it did a lot. The story goes back and forth primarily between Alice's perspective and her sister Elizabeth's journal/letters to her therapist. Alice's amnesia is a sort of catalyst for everyone to examine their relationships and who they've lost touch with over the years.

This may have been silly of me, but I read this as a horror novel for a while.

You ARE silly.
I know, but it was scary, because I can relate to the younger version of the characters. I was telling my husband how horrifying it is that in ten years we might have accrued all these little hurts and resentments that might make us hate each other, which is basically what was happening to these characters. And then he said something that made it all better. "Clearly, they never had the poop talk." Because if you can discuss your bowel movements with your partner, you can talk your way through anything. And those petty hurts you're bent out of shape over? You gotta let that shit go. In summary, the characters in this book are emotionally constipated, and Alice's amnesia is the laxative they needed. Once she gets in touch with her younger self, she remembers that some of the stuff she's wound up in really isn't so important after all. And she lets it go. So far, this book may seem like a bit of a downer. For those of you who cannot read something unless it has a happy ending, you can add this book to your list of things to read. You're safe.

Overall, I enjoyed this story and would recommend it to most people. Since much of it centers around what it means to be a wife, a mother, and reproductive issues, I don't expect men would care too much for it, but they might gain some insights anyway. The only thing that I found particularly weird about it didn't even have anything to do with the story, but with the book itself. Right after you're finished reading, there is a page toward the end that includes a list of discussion questions. I found the story compelling enough that I asked myself questions as we went along: What my life was like 10 years ago versus what I think it will be like 10 years from now, what relationships I lost to distance or pettiness, how the different character perspectives added to the story, etc. Well, I'm not sure if Liane Moriarty expects her book to be taught in college, or discussed in book clubs and she just has no faith in her readers' ability to think critically, because I found the inclusion of discussion questions to be unnecessary and even pretentious. Other than that, I don't think you'll regret reading What Alice Forgot.

StocktonCon is coming!

Just piles of stuff and things to do, as far as the eye can see. My
Jaded Internal Monologue (JIM) is having a field day.

Hello my dear internet people! (I can say that, because I'm too small fry to have trolls yet.)

The biggest troll is in your head.
Shut up, JIM, nobody asked you.

So StocktonCon is coming up this Saturday which is exciting stuff! I've given you guys a couple of random updates regarding it with pictures of half-finished projects, empty-box goals, and yarn.

Would anyone like to take a wild guess as to how many projects I actually finished?! Go on! Guess! It's more than zero, but less than everything.

Enough...?
Nope! But almost! I am officially in "last minute, crazy crochet lady" mode! Eek! Happily, Saturday's new review is already written and scheduled, so I won't have to worry about that this weekend. Unfortunately, that stack of books pictured above is not going to read itself, and I have to return them eventually, so I don't think I have any time left to slack off. Anyway! Just wanted to give you guys a little update! Hope you're having a great week!