Magnificent Mosaics: Stained Glass Coloring Book

I'm going to stop pretending that eventually I'll stop reviewing coloring books. A while back, I think it was reasonable to assume that I could stop reviewing coloring books because I generally don't buy them! This, however, was a special circumstance!— it was on sale, and I'd never seen a stained glass coloring book before!

So what's so cool about it?
This book is all intricate mosaic patterns on transparent coloring paper that allows light to filter through it, mimicking stained glass. There are fifteen images included in Magnificent Mosaics: Stained Glass Coloring Book, and the pages are perforated so that you can stick your finished artwork on your windows and enjoy the pretty colors!

If you are as hopelessly addicted to coloring books as I am, you've likely noticed that most adult coloring books have faith that you will:

1. Finish coloring an entire image or five before you die.
2. Color it well enough to want to frame it.
3. Frame it.

I don't know about you guys, but for all the coloring books I now own— more than one, but fewer than all of them— I've yet to completely finish coloring even a single image. Furthermore, even if I did finish an image, I don't know that I would like my work well enough to consider framing it. So while I appreciate that books have that level of confidence in me, framing will probably never happen. Meanwhile, Magnificent Mosaics: Stained Glass Coloring Book says: "Stick this in your window! Enjoy the light show!" And I can completely get behind that! So I think I have a better chance at actually finishing some of these images, since all they require of me when I'm done is a window and some tape.

Find me on Amazon!

If there is one thing that I am not entirely pleased with in regards to this book, it is that there are only fifteen images. For a $7.99 coloring book, I would have liked to get more images. Of course, if this were a normal coloring book and not a stained glass coloring book, I probably would have. So keep that in mind: what you lose in images to color, you gain in a different kind of paper and a different coloring experience. If you're not a fan of stained glass, but you like mosaics, I encourage you to try Magnificent Mosaics instead! This older coloring book is less expensive than its newer, stained glass version and contains 30 images for you to zen out with. The stained glass coloring book actually consists of excerpts from this older Magnificent Mosaics, but on that transparent paper. Or get both of them! Either way, I recommend them: I liked the artwork, the transparent paper is fun, and if you never finish an image you will still have fun trying.

Pics or It Didn't Happen

So I blinked out of existence for a while there, I know. One day, I was saying, "Ha, that's funny. I'm a little late for Halloween..." Next thing you know, over a month goes by and you passingly think to yourself, "I wonder if this girl's dead..." Or maybe you didn't care that much. I won't put words in your mouth.

For now.

Since I've had nothing else for you for weeks, let me just show you what I've been up to!

To your left, you will see progress shots of a t-shirt I sacrificed to make yarn. I had a stack of about 10 shirts that I ultimately knit/upcycled into a small rug. Let me just tell you right now: Trying to knit denim is a pain in the ass. But the rug came out okay! While the process I used to make the yarn used up a great big chunk of the shirt, there is still a good amount of fabric left over. My next project with those scraps is to make a shag rug. We'll see how that goes with the material I have left!

 I recently moved and had to find a new job. Go figure, I found a job at my local crack store— I mean, craft store. So I've been getting paid in yarn and other art supplies...
Okay, so I've been getting paid money and then just spending it on art supplies. Stop judging me. Anyway! This was some of the yarn that I purchased. I used Red Heart Unforgettable yarn in the color "parrot" and one of the patterns from my Crocodile Stitch book for this beauty. It was a fun pattern, though I guess I mostly like it for being something different to make. And of course, I love the colors of this yarn. If you ever decide to make anything with this particular yarn, please be aware that it is difficult to take it out of whatever you crocheted. It snags like crazy if you try taking it apart.

Progress shots of snowman Totoro in 16X20

 In addition to all this crochet, I've been trying to get myself excited about the winter festivities, so I've been obsessively drawing and coloring snowman Totoro. My hope is that if I get good enough at it, people will like it enough to perhaps buy a print or button of it at SacAnime. That is, of course, if I can get a table this winter. We're on the waitlist right now for one, but apparently it's still a possibility! So these are a few of the things (along with a some commissions) that have kept me busy and away from the blog this past month and a half. I hope to return us to our irregularly scheduled programming soon. Hope you're all doing well!

I got roped into making a wreath at work, then
wasn't allowed to keep it. So I had to make
another one for home.

Oh, and did I mention my foray into learning a musical instrument? Me and my happy lil' ukulele!

Bram Stoker's Dracula (THE MOVIE!)

I thought this blog was about books!

HA! Joke's on you guys! I write 'bout what I want! Also when I want, since this was supposed to be my Halloween post, but I only started writing it 10 minutes before midnight on Halloween. I think I win the procrastination award tonight. Anyway! Dracula... I think we're all pretty familiar with the premise of the story. There's a guy with fangs who refuses to die and he goes around biting people, sucking their blood. Somehow, losing a great deal of blood turns them into nymphomaniacs— because apparently anemia is nature's most effective aphrodisiac. Sound about right? ... No? But that's what this movie is leading up to!

Didn't this movie come out in the 90s? How is the nymphomaniac thing surprising?

Artemis cleverly conceals herself on my gray sweater.

The nymphomaniac thing is not surprising. I'll give you that one. But it has been years since I've seen this movie. Furthermore, I don't think I ever gave it the attention that it was due! I have a tendency to keep the TV on as background noise, or only listen to it while I crochet— as though movies and shows were actually radio dramas. I don't watch TV. Today, however, something remarkable happened. Today I looked up, and actually watched the shenanigans. Artemis helped this process along by settling herself on my lap and making crochet impossible, of course. It was then that I realized just what I had been missing, by only listening to the poorly delivered dialogue (whether spoken in Neo's monotone or Hannibal's insane outbursts). The visuals are stunning— often stunningly good, though sometimes stunningly bad. However, it's nothing so captivating that I would've sat and watched in fascination (twice). Nope. The thing that really caught me was Anthony Hopkins' bizarre performance of Hannibal Lecter Abraham Van Helsing.

Van Helsing was nothing like Hannibal!

You're right, of course, but I had just "watched" Silence of the Lambs as well, and it was fresh in my mind. Still, his performance was fascinatingly weird! I guess it'd have to be, given some of his lines:
"She is a bitch of the devil! Yeehee!— a whore of darkness![...] She is the devil's concubine!" All of this, gleefully delivered, and followed shortly by, "I'm famished! Feed me!" Whatever the hell that old coot had to drink prior to shooting that scene, I want two.

My favorite part, however, happened shortly after Lucy's death. During the wake, Van Helsing approaches Jack, the doctor who initially summoned him to examine Lucy. Van Helsing requests that Jack meet him at Lucy's grave before sunset with a set of "post-mortem knives." Assuming that the old psycho wishes to autopsy his beloved Lucy, Jack responds with: "An autopsy! On poor Lucy?"

Van Helsing: "Not exactly. I just want to cut off her head and rip out her heart."

At which point even Artemis, who had until that point been dozing on my lap, suddenly looked up in astonishment. Her eyes wide, she stared at me in bewilderment; her gaze clearly stating: "Mommy, what the fuck are we watching?!"

What the fuck indeed. There are many other ridiculous things I could share with you about this movie, if you haven't already experienced it for yourself. The silly effects, the ill-disguised "blood orgasms," or the inexplicable Harker-Mina-Dracula triangle are easy targets to share. Honestly, I really just wanted to tell you about my cat's reaction. 

If you read this before you go to bed: Happy Halloween 2016!

...If, however, you read this after you wake up...

Don't contradict Batman. Bad things will happen.

Art of Coloring Disney Villains

How do you like your Disney villains? Do you like them devious? Cunning? How about hipster-y, self-centered, and covered in patterns? Then have I got a treat for you!

I see you found a Disney coloring book more suited to your tastes.
Yes, though I only had a chance to flip through it. Art of Coloring Disney Villains is a little thank-you gift I bought for one of my friends. It's weird at times, but thankfully still entertaining. Unlike in the Disney Princess coloring book, the characters in Disney Villains are allowed to express a wide range of emotions while reenacting scenes from their movies or otherwise posing with new, "updated" material. Probably one of the funniest examples of this are the several images of Gaston from Beauty & the Beast as he takes an endless stream of selfies on a smart phone. Yeah. Wrap your head around that one. You'll see it makes complete sense— if he had a smart phone. One of the repeating "wallpaper" images is multiple villain faces wearing hipster glasses. Weird? Yes. Entertaining? YES.

The book is split into several different sections: animal kingdom, strictly human, and witches/creatures. As an unexpected bonus, most of the villains in the book also have a small, card-size portrait with information regarding: their movie, when it was released, and who voiced them. As with Art of Coloring Disney Princesses, this book is also that strange kind of hard cover (where it's a soft cover book with cardboard on the front and back). I still don't get it, but since the images were so much more fun for the villains, I really didn't mind so much. My favorite thing about this book, though, is that each of the villains has at least one image that include the movie's heroes as well. In each of these, the villain looks (appropriately) menacing— or looms over— the heroes/heroines; especially Izma from Emperor's New Groove. So what if they drew her with a piece of spinach stuck in her teeth? She's still a badass!

If you're interested in purely classic villains doing only what they do in their movies, I recommend you move along now. As previously mentioned, they took some liberties with these characters. However, since they are still "in character" for the most part, I forgave the artists and would be happy to have this book for my very own. I recommend you get one for yourself as well!

Art of Coloring Disney Princess: 100 Images to Lull You into a Catatonic State

This book was not made for me. When I see the title Art of Coloring Disney Princesses, certain expectations and standards come to mind. I expect a certain amount of froufrou nonsense and hoity-toityness featuring a pack of damsels in distress. Then I remind myself that "Disney Princess" refers to more than the classic damsels like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. My hopes rise, knowing that bad-asses like Mulan and Merida might be present. Let's not forget that Jasmine, Tiana, Rapunzel, and Belle are also intelligent, quirky, and brave. So I bought this Disney Princess coloring book with the expectation of seeing a variety of "princesses" doing and being more than decorative damsels in distress. Further, I expected the artwork would meet the high Disney Standards: interesting, dynamic, and beautiful. What I got amounts to little more than a Barbie-like coloring book with some characters standing or sitting around, looking pretty, with vacuous smiles plastered on their faces.

How do you know they're vacuous?
Because their eyes are glazed and unfocused, and they're staring at nothing in particular! The whole book is generic, discount, knock-off Disney at best! I find it insulting— to me as much as to these princesses— that they should take some genuinely interesting characters and have them only stand or sit, and smile at the camera. These ladies have better things to do! Tiana has work to do. Mulan has villains to outwit! For fucks' sake, Belle has a giant library to read, and Aurora could be taking a nap, and these artists interrupt their busy ass schedule to have them stand against a backdrop and smile?! Or they got a Disney Princess stunt double to sit/stand against a backdrop with infrequent wig and wardrobe changes.

You got a problem with looking pretty and having a rich husband?
Not at all! If you're pretty, have a rich husband, and that makes you happy? Good on you! I simply find it dull. My high school yearbooks were more interesting than that! Which leads me to my biggest problem with this book: It is mundane, uninspired, and mediocre. You're more likely to be lulled into a catatonic state while coloring these pages than be creatively inspired. But prepare yourself. There's a kicker. ... Are you prepared?

You're the Diet Coke of Disney. Just one calorie: not Disney enough.

I think so...
Of the approximately 120 pages to color, 98 are dedicated to generic, repeating wallpapers. I know. I counted. For the purposes of this math, I want you to understand that if the image was a mandala with a princess silhouette or a repeating pattern, I counted it as "wallpaper." Therefore, not really a princess. Just patterns. There were only 23 images of princesses (with vapid smile facial details), and even some of those pages were more patterns than princess.

Overall, I found this book terribly disappointing and misleading. It is monotonous at best, and I don't recommend it at all. In addition to all the problems with content, the book itself is odd in that it is a hardcover coloring book—

That's kinda cool!
—but the covers are actually just cardboard pieces stuck on the outside of a soft-cover book. It makes little sense, and it looks weird. It doesn't really bother me. I'm just annoyed at the book in general. But that does bring me back to my first point: This book wasn't made for me. I gave it to my friend, and he loved it. Know your audience, I guess. I bet my audience loves narwhals.

A is for Adventure: Part Coloring Book, Monster Manual, Campaign Guide. ALL Fun

The other day, I went on a little shopping spree for my friends. I am not allowing myself to spend much on myself lately, but I wanted to get a few little thank you gifts for my D&D group so... I bought coloring books. Of the three that I bought, my absolute favorite is A is for Adventure, by Scott Aleric. I want this book for myself and I want it now.

So the artwork is good?

Yes, but that's not all. This book is fantastic! I appreciate Aleric's style and the attention to detail. All the monsters are displayed in dynamic poses— typically in the process of mauling some foolish adventurer. The illustrations are worked in ink with full backgrounds and— Okay, you may find this a little bit strange, but...

I've read your other reviews. How could this be any stranger?

—what really does it for me is the hatch and cross-hatch shading. I love the texture it creates on the page. It's something that I just don't see all that much anymore, especially as more artists do digital art. And I haven't even told you about my absolute favorite part!

There's more?!

Yes! Included with each letter/monster is a mini campaign scenario featuring the monster, a small map, and even some plot twists to kick things up a notch. What I particularly love about these adventures is that they act almost as adventure-Legos: you could play with them on their own, put them together, or drop it in to your bigger campaign set. Tweak the scenarios to taste! Overall, I highly recommend this book! You'll like it too if you're into: 

1. Coloring! The pages are thin, but single-sided. No worries about markers bleeding through to the next page.
2. Role-playing! Mini campaigns need little customization if you're a lazy dungeon master or you just want to sample playing with friends.
3. Monster art! Most of the illustrations look like the monsters are winning. That's typically a plus in my book!

Have fun!

StocktonCon is coming!

Just piles of stuff and things to do, as far as the eye can see. My
Jaded Internal Monologue (JIM) is having a field day.

Hello my dear internet people! (I can say that, because I'm too small fry to have trolls yet.)

The biggest troll is in your head.
Shut up, JIM, nobody asked you.

So StocktonCon is coming up this Saturday which is exciting stuff! I've given you guys a couple of random updates regarding it with pictures of half-finished projects, empty-box goals, and yarn.

Would anyone like to take a wild guess as to how many projects I actually finished?! Go on! Guess! It's more than zero, but less than everything.

Enough...?
Nope! But almost! I am officially in "last minute, crazy crochet lady" mode! Eek! Happily, Saturday's new review is already written and scheduled, so I won't have to worry about that this weekend. Unfortunately, that stack of books pictured above is not going to read itself, and I have to return them eventually, so I don't think I have any time left to slack off. Anyway! Just wanted to give you guys a little update! Hope you're having a great week!

Edward's Menagerie: Birds!

My youngest brother loves birds, and I love making things. So when I came across Edward's Menagerie: Birds by Kerry Lord on Amazon and saw that they were having a book sale, I made a deal with my dear bro. If he got me the book for Christmas, I would make him a bird for his birthday. Well, he kept up his side of the bargain, and I became the proud owner of this avian themed collection of patterns. Then, of course, my schedule blew up and I've yet to start the toucan I promised him. His birthday was four months ago.

Worst. Sister. Ever.
Yeah, I know. But he'll get his toucan! I just hope he names it something more interesting than Kerry Lord named hers. All of the birds in this book have their own names and little bios stuffed full of personality. It's disgustingly adorable, for the most part. But then you get to the toucan, and the description was so prissy it actually turned me off to the entire pattern. Since all of the patterns have little bios, though, I think this could also work as a little children's book. Not the kind that you hand to itty-bitties to tug on, but you could read it to them and show off the pictures. Or, even better, make the toy and then tell them the pre-made story behind it!

Beyond that, there are some things you should know before you go out and buy this book...

1. All the patterns are written with European abbreviations. I know this is a deal-breaker for some people, but the European abbreviations don't make it incomprehensible. Additionally, Lord even points out in a couple of sections what the U.S. equivalents are for what she's talking about.
2. The birds are sorted into three levels of difficulty, so if you're a complete beginner you can start at level 1 and if you feel the need for a challenge you can jump to level 3. I think you could make all the patterns with only a little experience and some tenacity.
3. The patterns are split in different parts throughout the book: standard forms, levels 1-3 birds, and technicals. So if you wanted to make Ina the Stork (level 1), it bids you to start the body, neck, head, and wings from the standard forms. The pattern for the legs and beak are on the same page as Ina's bio. To put it all together, you would refer to the "technicals" section; that covers all the additional little details.
4. Of the 40 patterns listed in the book, there are 3 distinct: owls, penguins, and chickens. Think about that. You don't just get an owl, or a penguin, or a chicken. You get a barn owl (and 2 other subspecies buddies), an emperor penguin (and buddies), and a silkie chicken (plus a regular hen and a rooster). That's just cool.

If you appreciate birds, attention to detail, and some realism in your toys, I would highly recommend Edward's Menagerie: Birds. Even if you're a complete beginner, you can find something here that would be satisfying and fun to make. The patterns look solid, and the directions for all of the toys are "baby friendly" (none of them use extra little bits like buttons that babies and younger children might choke on). As always with crafting books, I recommend getting the print version of this book— especially given how the patterns are separated in the different sections. So have fun with it, guys!

P.S.
I hope I'll have an opportunity to show off my brother's toucan soon, along with a blue-footed booby for good measure. Because how could I resist making a booby or two?

Stitch 'N Bitch: The Knitter's Handbook

I suck at knitting. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to go beyond the absolute basics— straight knitting needles and square shapes. That isn't for lack of trying, or lack of being informed, though. After falling in love with Stitch 'N Bitch: The Happy Hooker, I was sure that Debbie Stoller's original knitting handbook would be the perfect way to teach myself to knit! I wasn't exactly wrong... But my increased knitting knowledge has not helped me complete complex projects. And why? Because if this book has taught me anything, it's that I need five times the tools and a blood sacrifice to achieve what I could with one crochet hook. But let's pretend for a minute that you're already a knitter and are used to these blood sacrifices.

I keep sheep for this express purpose!
I would keep sheep for the eventual yarn but if you want to play it biblical and keep them handy for blood sacrifices, that's cool too, I guess. You do you.

So, you're already a knitter: Jump into the deep end with 40 knitting projects of varying difficulty! They range from quick scarves and hats to marathon-style, focus-heavy sweaters and blankets. There is even a pattern for a cat bed in here. I find that one amusingly pointless, since my cat would prefer to sleep on a pile of clean clothes or on my face over her own bed any day.

Tools of the trade: Crochet hooks (top left), circular knitting needles
(top right), straight knitting needles, and resource book.

The only thing I found frustrating (and this has more to do with knitting as a craft than with the book) is that I wanted to make some of these hats and they required two or three different types of needles. That means I would need to have between five and seven needles for one project. Is that Debbie Stoller's fault? Or the fault of the designers featured in this book? Absolutely not! I appreciate that they let me know beforehand so I didn't waste my time starting a project that I'd never finish for lack of owning every damn knitting tool on the market. But we're pretending you're already a knitter, so maybe you own all that already. Congratulations! These are some cool-looking projects! My favorites are the different bags. As I was flipping through the book again today, I got the itch to make all of them: backpacks, purses, and totes. They look complex, but are fairly straightforward to make. All patterns contained herein include a briefing on necessary materials, the gauge you should be aiming for, finished size, and best yarns to use. All patterns were screened by a technical editor as well, so they're pretty much guaranteed to work. I certainly haven't found any technical problems with them yet.

What if I'm a complete beginner?
Fear not! This is still a fantastic, beginner-friendly resource book. The beginning half of the book is dedicated to teaching you knitting basics and some additional niceties. One of the things I love about the Stitch 'N Bitch series is how in-depth it goes. While some books will attempt to teach you as they go along with the pattern, Stoller does it all up-front so you can try tackling those tougher projects after some reading. Even if you've never held a pair of knitting needles and yarn, she explains the process in a clear and entertaining manner. You could, of course, just read the portion on how to start your project and jump into the patterns. You can use this book however you damn well please. But I think you'll have an easier time if you actually read some of it first.

You know what else is pretty cool about this? Stoller mentions several different resources within the book to further educate yourself on the subject of knitting! She mentions multiple books, magazines, and websites for additional reading. If you want to shop for fancy yarns at discount prices, she points out the best way to search for them. This book is full of handy tips and tricks for getting the most out of your knitting experience. If you're interested in the craft, I highly recommend checking this book out. It can only make your life— at least the knitting portion of it— easier. Good luck, and happy knitting!

Challenge Mode: ON

As you may recall from a previous post (if you're keeping track), I mentioned that I will be heading to StocktonCon on August 20th and 21st. Last year, I did very well at this convention, so I have high hopes of repeating that success this year! Of course, that'll never happen unless I set high goals, sooooo...

Behold: My goal!

It's a box...
Yes, an empty box! And, to be fair, it isn't even all that big. My goal is to fill this box twice before StocktonCon with all sorts of crochet goodies. I'm thinking an assortment of hats, gloves, and amigurumi ought to do it. I've already gotten started, but items will make it into the box as they are completed (all loose tails tucked in, faces made, ready to go home). I have project ADHD, hence why this box is still empty. I probably have five jellyfish amigurumi and multiple sets of gloves that are in "finishing stages" limbo.

Okay, given how long it takes to crochet some of these projects, I guess that's a challenge...

The bag of poly-fill is bigger than
the goal box...

Actually, that isn't the challenge. Seeing as how I've got two and a half months to work on this, filling the box only twice is a smart goal. The challenge is to make things using only my current, accessible stash of supplies. Because, you see, I have so many more supplies besides what is pictured, but some of them are currently in storage; and they will not come out until I've finished what I have on hand. So there lies my challenge: emptying out the bags and bins of yarn I can reach by convention-time in August. Expect more pictures of my progress as I fill up the box! I'll be sure to have some completed projects in there by next week! Oh, and if you have ideas on how to make this additionally challenging, or have requests— for toys, hats, or a particular style of gloves— that you'd like to see in there, let me know by leaving a comment!

All the jellies, ALL the time

The smack of jellies on the right is the result of an amalgamation
of patterns: one found in this book and the other online.

I've had a busy day today, consisting primarily of trying not to melt in the heat while being covered in a pile of yarn as I make a metric butt-ton of crochet jellyfish.

I don't think "butt-ton" is part of the metric system.
No, I suppose it isn't. Fine, if you insist on accurate terminology, I was making a smack of jellyfish.

How is that better?
I didn't make that one up! I just learned, about two minutes ago, that a group of jellyfish is called a "smack." So I thought I'd share a smack with you. Someday I may even give you a smack. If I'm fortunate, someday, someone will purchase a smack from me. That will, indeed, be a great day for me. I may even make it a selling point.

Anyway! I just wanted to share a picture of what I was up to today with you guys. These guys (and their jelly brethren) will be available for purchase at Stockton-Con this August 20th and 21st. I'll be sharing a table with my significant other in the artist alley, and I sincerely hope you'll come visit us if you have an opportunity! (COME VISIT ME!)

Stitch 'N Bitch: The Happy Hooker

Find me on Amazon in digital format!

My love of this book—

"Love," is it?
—begins with the title. Which, unfortunately, does not lend itself to my usual introductory snark, so I'll be skipping that today. Instead, let me just tell you about one of my favorite crochet books!

The Happy Hooker was my introduction to the Stitch 'N Bitch series by Debbie Stoller, as well as my reintroduction to crochet after many years of not practicing. I came across this title while perusing the craft section at Barnes & Noble many years ago.

Like a crack addict in the crack section of the store? What a surprise.
My name is Ly and I am a yarnaholic. My stash is so great that several months of dedicated crocheting have done little to reduce it. That being said, it is not for lack of trying or lack of patterns. If anything, maybe I have too many options. Debbie Stoller put together a collection of patterns from various designers that range from hats and scarves to purses and swimwear; an entire wardrobe just begging to be made. Not that I'm insinuating there are only patterns for clothes and accessories here. The book also includes: an outdoor rug, amigurumi, bunny slippers, afghans, and some baby things.

Happy Hooker is split in two parts. The first is the best and most comprehensive "how to hook" section of a crochet book that I have ever encountered. Even if I got bored of all of the patterns in this book— which is unlikely— I would hang on to it for use as a reference guide. If you are a beginning or returning crocheter and you're rusty on your basics, this book will whip you back into shape in no time flat!

Kinky hook(er), is it?

Creativity and knowledge of a few basic shapes turn a
basic beanie pattern into something extra special

More like best hook for buying and keeping a book! Most craft books will give you a crash course on the basics you'll need to know to reproduce the patterns therein, but this... This is comprehensive! I find that I remember things best when I understand how they work, instead of memorizing that they just work a certain way. Stoller explains the "hows" and "whys" of crochet, as well as delves into some of the history and the differences between crochet and knitting. The result is that after reading this, and a little practice with the patterns, I was able to start figuring out patterns on my own. This book has even helped me with patterns in other books. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to start a project, follow the directions exactly, and find that at the end, the directions didn't make sense for the thing you're trying to produce?

Is it awful?
It IS awful! But with a bit of knowledge, like that provided in The Happy Hooker, you may be able to figure out what went wrong and fix it yourself! I certainly have. I cannot stress this enough: this will help you break down patterns into their basic components. No pattern will be so complicated that you can't ultimately make it your bitch. That's how this book will make you feel. From how to hold your hook, to finishing your project, and everything in between: Stoller explains it all.

Part of making a pattern your bitch is making things up
when you can't find a pattern for it at all.

What about the patterns?
Part two of The Happy Hooker is broken up further into sections for: scarves and shawls, hats, bags, "spring and summer" (clothes), "Fall and winter" (sweaters), accessories, and "home, gifts and baby." The patterns are by different designers and I've yet to encounter one that didn't work the way it's supposed to. In other words, someone actually made all of the projects presented and edited the patterns accordingly so there are no mistakes.

You say that like not all editors earn their keep...
Because they don't always earn their keep. That is yet another point in this book's favor. Each pattern includes some basic information about the project: the finished size, different sizes (small, medium, large), materials, extras you may need, and special stitches you'll be learning. They have recommendations for the yarn you use or how to adapt the pattern if you decide to go with something else. I believe the patterns for scarves, shawls, hats, bags, and home things are generally the easiest to make, since gauge— though always given— is not always as important to adhere to. However, once you've gained some confidence in your hooking abilities, I recommend branching out and making yourself some clothes!

So basically, what you're saying is... You love this book.
YES! Stitch 'N Bitch: The Happy Hooker is my constant crochet companion. I highly recommend it to everyone, whether beginner or master hooker. I am an extremely happy hooker; you can be too!

A note about format:
I bought myself a Kindle a few months ago after years of believing that a digital format could never compare with the touch and smell of a paperback. While I sometimes miss the smell of paperbacks, I'm happy to report that my Kindle Paperwhite at least feels like a book in my hands, albeit much lighter. Obviously, whether you decide to go digital or physical with your books depends entirely on your personal preference but I do want to point something out. With craft books, there will be times when you'll want to check the reference section at the front of the book for help on something while you're working on a project and I (personally) think physical copies are the way to go in such cases. Just putting my opinion all over this blog, y'know. I recommend this book and —if you have the space for it on your bookshelf— I recommend getting a physical copy. That being said, I hope you enjoyed the review!

Crocodile Stitch Fashions a.k.a Fancy Stitches

I would like to thank all of you for indulging my fondness for crochet, and all things related to it.

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Fondness, or obsession?

I say "toe-MAY-toe," you say "tuh-MAH-toe." Or in today's case, you say "crocodile stitch," and I say "dragonscales." Yes, I use my imagination whenever I see or make anything using this stitch. I cannot understand why someone would name a fantastical stitch such as this after something like a crocodile. "Dragonscale" sounds so much more elegant! Anyway, I'm rambling—

Per the norm...
But you're still here, so let me tell you about this book! Last year, one of my best friends sent me on a quest. For her birthday, she said, she wanted a pair of "dragonscale gloves."

"I want you to slay a dragon, and use its carcass
for my gloves!"

"I've seen them on Etsy, and they're rather fetching! I know no one more capable of procuring these for me than yourself. Why, with your amazing skills, I know you could whip up a pair of these in no time!"

With flattery such as this, how could I refuse? So I ventured forth to the magical, faraway land of Joann's Fabric Store. My first task, in this multitask fetch quest, was to procure the patterns. That's where Crocodile Stitch Fashions, by Lianka Azulay, comes in! This book had caught my attention on previous visits to the store, and I was delighted to finally have an excuse to stop stalking it and give it a proper hello.

"Looking good, book!
You work out?"

Though I bought it for one pattern in particular, this book contains eight different patterns featuring the crocodile stitch. Some of the patterns are fanciful, others beautiful, and some are just bizarre— but all of them are fun to make!

Can I make these if I suck at crochet?
Mmm, kinda? Okay, maybe this is not for complete noobs. As with all new things, it takes a little getting used to before you get it down. All the patterns are listed as "intermediate." The crocodile stitch is comprised of two basic components: chain stitches, and double crochet stitches. That's it. You just do that over and over, layer upon layer, until you come up with something fabulous. Luckily, Crocodile Stitch Fashions provides full-color photos of the different steps to help you along, as well as a stitch guide in case you forgot—or didn't already know—the basic stitches. To be fair, it actually took me several hours of doing, undoing, and redoing my first few rows before I really trusted that I was actually doing things correctly.

So maybe you're curious about the book now, and you want to check it out. Here are some things you'll want to know going in:

• This title includes patterns for two different kinds of gloves, three hats, one shawl, a neck-warmer (not quite a scarf, I suppose), and a hood. Two of the hats are, in my humble opinion, quite ugly. The gloves, hood, and shawl make up for it. All of those are downright gorgeous.
• These are great projects to work on during "down-time." Waiting in line? Have a little spare time during your lunch? Crochet it up!

Self patterning yarn

And that's honestly pretty much all there is to it! I know, kinda short, but it is a short book after all. I hope you enjoy it! It's certainly worth checking out.

What about the multitask fetch quest? Getting the book was just the first part!

That's true! The second task in my fetch quest was finding the proper yarn to make the gloves! The patterns are fun, but finding yarn to use for them is not. All the patterns in this book require superfine, light, or sport weight yarn, and those are tough to find in your average craft superstore in colors other than soft pastels meant for babies. Be prepared to run out to a specialty store or shop online for your yarn if you don't see something you like at the store. Your options at Michael's and JoAnn's are limited. As luck would have it, my friend wanted gray/black gloves in changing colors. I couldn't find a "multi-color" yarn in only gray and black, so I had to improvise. Afterwards, it was just a matter of obsessively making and remaking the first few rows until I was certain I could do no better.

Which brings me to my final point about these patterns: It's going to take a while to finish any of these projects. A shortened pair of gloves can take approximately eight hours to make. And if you're lacking in time and/or patience, consider commissioning me for a pair! I've had some time to practice.

My Crochet Doll: A picture book with patterns

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Once upon a time, in a strange, faraway land known as "JoAnns Fabric Store," I came across a charming crochet book featuring a simple doll with practically no nose, no mouth, and a delightfully detailed outfit. Intrigued, I snatched the book off the shelf and flipped through its contents.
"Hello, Kitty," I purred at the pages, for clearly our no-nose heroine's name is Katherine, "Why don't you tell me about yourself?"
Having thus acquired several weird looks for the day and no verbal response from the book, I continued my monologue at home after purchasing My Crochet Doll. Sixty pages worth of photos later, I finally found the patterns Isabelle Kessedjian promised. Despite my potentially misleading title (in which you might think that a picture book with patterns is a bad thing), I am quite in love with this book! Sixty pages of pictures goes a long way in showing you what is possible before actually teaching you how to do anything.

But it does show you how to make things, doesn't it?
YES! Okay, this would normally be the point where I start showing off some of the stuff that I've made while using the patterns in the book.
... I have a small confession to make.
       I have owned this book for over a year, and have yet to make anything from it.

GASP OF HORROR!
Don't judge me too harshly, I beg you! Thing is that, for as beautiful as the illustrations are, and convinced as I am that the patterns are sound, there has been something deterring me from just jumping in and making a beautiful crochet doll of my own. The patterns use the European abbreviations for crochet. European abbreviations are a bit odd to my American eyes. How can you call a single crochet a double, and then expect a half double to mean-- Okay, maybe you're not as interested in my tech-gibberish at the moment. That's fine. Moving on! The second deterrent is that the yarn the author uses is a lighter weight than what I normally work with. I believe she uses a weight 3 (or sport weight), while I use weight 4 (medium worsted a.k.a The Yarn EVERYONE Uses). Ultimately, that's going to make the patterns come out a little different. I like making one just how the pattern says for my first try, to figure out any quirks beforehand. Then I go crazy with it, adding or subtracting details as I see fit. But no matter what I do, my end product is going to end up different or a bit off because I'm not about to go out and buy more yarn until I've finished with what I've got. And if you saw the size of my stash, you'd see that's going to be quite a long time.

Enough excuses! What can you tell us about the patterns?!
Well, do you like weird? If you're still reading this, I'm going to go with "Duh, I like weird."
Okay, so you like weird.
This book... has a pattern... to make underwear for your doll. Not even joking. Honest to goodness, you can make cute little undies for your amigurumi. You can also make: shoes, pajamas, overalls, a superhero outfit (which is ultimately why I bought the book), a fancy dress, tiny cakes, and many other things! It's freaking adorable! And that's not even mentioning all the different little accessories that you can add to your new playmate. Ms. Kessedjian also mentions how to make a variety of hairstyles using different types of yarn, from regular 4-ply to wool. She talks about giving your doll additional personality with bits of wire (perhaps adding glasses to the doll) and other scrap materials. The funny thing is that, despite my insistence on making the first doll be "just like the author's" to get a feel for things, the author actually points out that the doll in this book is hers and she highly encourages the reader to make their own. Change the color! Give her different hair, or some glasses, or a different outfit, or mix-and-match with what's available in the book and beyond! Go crazy with it from the beginning! The important thing is to have fun. At the end, what you've made will be your crochet doll.

So that's pretty much all I've got to say about that. I highly recommend this book. At least check it out. Just remember, the abbreviations are different in this than in a book from a U.S. author. That being said, there is a little section (as in most of these books) that goes over the technical aspects of crochet: what the abbreviations are, what they mean, how to make the stitches, and the difference between U.S. and U.K. terminology and what the heck they mean by each.

I enjoyed the format of the book. The illustrations were gorgeous, and it was pleasant to simply flip through the pictures first and then have the patterns at the end. This may not be the best book for the absolute beginner. I recommend already knowing your basic stitches (chain, single stitch, slip stitch, etc) prior to picking this one up because there are no illustrations demonstrating how to get that started or hold the yarn. You're going to be awfully frustrated if you don't know how to hold your yarn and you try just going at this. Well, who knows... You might actually be a prodigy. But for those of us who aren't prodigies, it can get frustrating if you don't already have an idea of what you're doing.

Some day, I may share with you pictures of My Crochet Doll... but in the meantime, I hope you have fun with your own!

Not even Christmas Haul!

Equal parts creativity machine and actual reading.

Hey guys! I thought I'd try something a little different this week and share with you some of the things I've been playing with, reading, and generally squee-ing over this past week!

I had an opportunity to get together with some of my friends this past weekend, including Stephanie from Reading with Cupcakes, so of course Coloring happened. A lot of coloring.

I'm gonna clue you guys in on a little (not so) secret of mine: I don't half-ass my hobbies. It's full ass or no ass! So when I started getting coloring books, I needed to also get colored pencils. Simple crayolas would not do to start, so I picked up some Prismas. I couldn't wait for my copy of Lost Ocean to arrive, so I got Time Chamber and Time Garden for free from Blogging for Books to tide me over. Then, when I had those three books (with plenty of pages to keep me occupied for quite some time), I realized that I had only really complex coloring books. Realizing my mistake in focusing only on the fancy, I went out and got myself a copy of Owls as well. Creative Cats was a gift for a friend, but I realized I really liked that one also and ended up getting myself a copy. A different friend gifted me Secret Garden. Now I have six coloring books. Is that enough? It might be. For now...

Weirdo...
I am a weirdo, but hopefully you're still reading this because you find my weirdness mildly entertaining and perhaps even charming. You're welcome!

Gift-giving Frenzy is in a couple of days, and I look forward to giving and receiving my fair share. Amazon was having a book sale (I think it was 25% off one book of your choice), and I agonized over whether I should get Edward's Menagerie, The Big Book of Amigurumi, or Edward's Menagerie - Birds. Ultimately, I decided on Edward's Menagerie and I've been happily staring at it (while keeping it safe as a gift for someone else) as well as trying to figure out some of the descriptions. As you can clearly see in the picture above, I also received The Big Book of Amigurumi, and I know I'll be getting the Birds book as well. Expect a review about these in 2016, because I have several things to say about them!

That's it. She's reviewing only craft books from here on out!
Well, no. Not quite. I do read other books, but it takes me longer to mull those over. There are even a few of them that I feel the need to reread, in order to give it the most accurate review possible. So there are a few of those coming, but in the meantime, expect a barrage of crafting books! Yaaaay!

One more thing I'd like to mention:
Since Christmas is (by my timezone, anyway) in about 24 hours and 2 minutes, I will probably be taking a little break on reviews for the next couple of weeks. So I'll try to schedule a couple of reviews for while I'm gone, but if you notice a lack of updates, that's why. Just saying.

So the official list of reviews coming up next month (in no particular order):
Edward's Menagerie
Edward's Menagerie - Birds
Big Book of Little Amigurumi
Outsider in the White House (oooh, topical)
Stardust

And that's it for this evening! Enjoy your holidays, my friends! Whatever those holidays might be!

P.S.
Funny extra story-time.

I thought you were done?
Almost, I swear. I sent my husband out to the mailbox (before midnight, I promise), and he found a copy of Edward's Menagerie in there waiting for me courtesy of one of my best friends. I am winning this holiday season. There will be stuffed animals everywhere!

Generation T: Where high fashion meets bum comfort!

T-shirts are an integral part of my wardrobe. They're soft, comfortable, and my favorite way of displaying fandoms and/or art. The problem I run into, however, is that t-shirts are generally not made for ladies with, shall we say, "ample" bosoms in mind. Or even just with ladies in mind.

Let me rant to you about clothes for a minute here. I know you can go out and get "girl tees" which are specifically designed to fit lady parts better than your average tees, but think about how those work. A guy's t-shirt with a cool design on it can run you anywhere from $5 to $10. Maybe, if you're shopping at Hot Topic and you see one that you really love, you'll spend about $20 (because you just have to have it). The same t-shirt made to fit women? $20. No, they do not have it for $10. If it is made to fit a woman better than it fits a man, it will cost more. How unfair is that? And what about the sizes? If guys are buying a t-shirt, the cost of sizes extra-small all the way through extra large is exactly the same. Once they start hitting that 2XL or higher, they get charged a dollar or two more. Well, sorry guys: if you're 2XL or higher, that makes some sense. After all, that is LOT of shirt and requires more material. Women's t-shirts work in pretty much the same way, except that they are made primarily to fit thin women. And even then, if you're a skinny lady, prepare to feel fat because these are essentially children's sizes. So sizes XS to XL are the same, and they start charging more from 2XL and higher. But it isn't really more fabric that's at play here. For example: I fit into a men's medium. I can get in it with no problems. It covers my boobs, my stomach, has a nice length to it; it just doesn't fit nice. It doesn't hug my curves or anything. In a women's sizes, I'm suddenly an extra-large. The 2XL would fit better, but I don't want to pay more money, so I squeeze into the smaller shirt. Does it fit better than the men's shirt? Sure. It hugs my curves, that thing is on me. Is it more fabric? NO! I didn't suddenly need more fabric because the shirt is 2XL, but I'll still get charged more. Yet it's the same amount of fabric! Maybe even less!

This is a long rant. I thought you were going to review a book?!
I am. I'm setting up context. Keep your shirt on. OR, take it off and alter it to fit your needs!

Nice segue.
Thank you. My point is, I don't like paying more for a shirt just because I have boobs. That's where Generation T: 108 ways to transform a T-shirt by Megan Nicolay comes in. I came across this book at a Barnes & Noble many years ago. At the time, I worked at a GameStop and we would receive promotional t-shirts constantly, but never in the sizes that we actually needed. They were always way too big, and never in women's sizes. Finding this book was like an answered prayer! It includes 108 different ways to cut, slash, resew or no-sew your shirts.

I can't sew!

So maybe it's not high fashion. But it could be!

That's okay, because you don't always have to! One of the things I pulled from this book that I do constantly is simply cutting out the collar to men's shirts I like. Men's tees always feel too tight at the collar, and by simply cutting it out I have made the shirt fit better and also look cuter. Sometimes, that's all you need to do. This book taught me not to be scared of using my scissors. Many of the projects also have "no-sew" alternatives. Maybe you like a corset-style shirt, or you want to cinch up the sides of your favorite tee, but you don't want to sew? No problem. Instead of sewing up the sides, simply cut off a length of fabric from the bottom of your tee, poke some holes along the sides, and weave that length of fabric through the holes. Tada: No sewing! And if you're interested in doing a little bit of sewing, but have no idea how to start, the first chapter will take you through the basics. The writing and directions are easy to follow, so you should have no problems following along! There are so many cool things about this book, that the only way we'll get through them is if I just start listing them off, so:

1. There are places for you to write in this book. There is a place in the first chapter where it tells you how to properly take your measurements, and gives you a spot to jot them down.
2. There is a section toward the back of the book where you can sketch out your own ideas for how to alter t-shirts. There are pictures of plain tees already on there and you can just sketch away at them.
3. The projects are not limited to shirts. Yes, they all start with a t-shirt, but they may very well end up as skirts, arm warmers, quilts, or pillows. There is even a pattern for a wedding dress.
4. Speaking of "wedding dress," let's talk difficulty. This book contains a nice mix of patterns ranging from easy to challenging. The more challenging patterns, like the wedding dress, might be something you just work your way up to.

Wow! It sounds like you only have nice things to say about this book!

Well, not quite. I definitely have more great things to say about this book than bad ones. There are a couple of things I'm not super thrilled about, but they don't stop me from enjoying it. The first peeve I have with it is that none of the models look like me. Not at all. As I flip through the book, I get the sneaking suspicion that not a single one of these women is as short as I am (and I'm not exactly minuscule at 5'2", just fun-size), and my boobs are definitely bigger than all of theirs. This may seem like an odd thing to get annoyed at, but when the point of the book is to alter clothes to fit you, it'd be nice if you could see some of the items on a person that shares your body type. But the models are all models: mostly tall, all thin, all relatively compact in the chest area. Because of this, I can safely say that there are some patterns here that would only look good on models. That leads me to my second annoyance: the patterns are not universally usable. 

In any craft book, there will always be patterns or projects that are not your favorite, or that you simply have no interest in making. It happens. But I would like the option of being able to make the majority of them. I think I have 3 alterations, in a book of 108 things to do, that I really like and use on a regular basis. Some of these, again, just won't work for me because I find bras (at least sports bras) to be necessary. I'm not going to lie: I almost made the t-shirt wedding dress for my wedding. I absolutely adore the skirt, and the top was really nice also but it is not big boob friendly and I just couldn't come up with an alternative that would work for me. And there you have it: my only frustrations with this book. It is still well-worth the money I paid for it. I almost never bother buying t-shirts that are already fitted for women because I find it more fun to resize my own, and with Generation T I have the tools, inspiration, and encouragement I need to really make my tees my own.

That still sounds like fun! Anything else I should know about it?

Yes. While this book keeps total newbies who don't own a sewing machine in mind, some of these projects will move along a lot faster if you own a sewing machine (a basic one is fine, no need to get crazy), and know how to use it. Sewing things by hand is annoying.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who loves t-shirts, crafts, and has even a passing interest in sewing and altering their clothes. I would not recommend it for guys, though, since there aren't enough projects geared towards them to keep them entertained. Maybe you thought that was obvious, but I just wanted to make it really clear. There are actually a couple of patterns for things you could do, as a man, to alter your t-shirts but they consist primarily of just frankensteining a couple of them together. I think that's it. One pattern. Maybe two. 

And that's it, guys! I hope you enjoyed the review! Happy reading, crafting, and wearing!